So yeah, finally seventeen☺️

This post is long due and I’m so sorry, I don’t even have an excuse.

Yeah, so I’m finally seventeen and I’ve got big plans for the new age. Some plans that didn’t quite come through the last age and some new ones as well.

‘Sixteen’ wasn’t an easy age I must say. But it wasn’t the least bit surprising to me. I remember one of my letters to God where sort of predicted it anyway. I left high school, got into the university, lost friends, understood that sometimes you just have to explain to your parents instead of always nodding yes, validated my ‘having trust issues’, doubted myself, confessed long hidden feelings, accepted the rejection, gotten mad unexplainable mood swings and all.

All that aside, I’m a year older now even if it feels like nothing’s changed. I’m anticipating challenges with victories alongside. But my greatest wish these coming 365 days is to get to know God more and he draws me closer to him as well. Because I believe a healthy relationship with God brings peace and fulfillment.

Mood swings😂..😔

“Oh my God. That came out wrong. I’m so sorry”. Amy apologized to Kiki. “No it’s okay, I’m fine”. Kiki replied.

Ten minutes later…

“Kiki are you okay? I’m sorry about what I said earlier”. “No no it’s not you. I just suddenly feel off. But trust me, I’m not mad at you. I need some time alone please”.

Yes, Kiki suffered an abrupt alteration of emotional state, formerly known as a mood swing.

A ‘mood swing’ is a term used to describe a condition where someone’s mood fluctuates with or without a cause. It could vary from contentment to fear to irritability to euphoria and even to depression.

While some mood swings are triggered with little or no efforts, some others can be caused by internal factors including underlying illnesses such as brain injuries, concussion, dementia and even stroke. Mood swings can also be caused by external factors:) the environment, increased stress, pressure from school or work, struggle to attain some personal goals, parental pressure, inadequate sleep, allergies and hormones. Mood swings are accompanied with feelings of suicide, lack of concentration and irregular eating habits.

My own experience with mood swings-

I used to keep diaries, or better still, journals. There are times I just open randomly and read what I wrote that year. I opened my 2017 journal one time in April this year to 2nd October, 2017. Regardless of the fact that I had mid-term tests the next week, I spent the whole weekend creating a birthday card for my crush back then. After everything, he rejected the card lol. I ended up failing those tests. That was a silly move yeah, but I love fiercely and at my own expense, which I think is a weakness.

I suffered a mood swing that day. It was like I just got the rejection. I couldn’t really pinpoint why I cried. But I remember spending the rest of the day sober, under my bed and overeating.

However, mood swings can be dealt with. I’d talk about it in my next post😽

Getting Body-shamed?

The society we live in today has its own perception about beauty:) Long hair, slim and slender body, tall or at least, average height, pink lips, straight legs and all.

– If you aren’t any of these, they term you FAT. And they view you as disgusting, slothful, lazy, incompetent and stupid.

They make critical and in most cases, extremely sensitive comments about your body that somehow somehow tends to affect your self-esteem.

I am not a slim person lol. Some people say I’m not fat, some people say I’m too fat. But then, since everyone is indecisive, it all boils down to how I view myself. This isn’t about me. This is for everyone who has in one way or the other felt humiliated and bullied because they’re robost.

– People are constantly judging us. Some people even go the extra mile to say “Be careful so you don’t dig your grave with your spoon”. By being so visible and taking up so much space, in a strange way, we feel invisible. When you enter a room, you feels the eyes assessing you and then they slide off you. I as a person detest full body pictures because I’ve not been able to bring myself to accept my own body. Sometimes, I dwell on the thoughts that I’m stuck in it forever.

I am a Christian and I believe in God. I believe in art and the diversity of things. And until the whole world accepts that all things and people cannot be the same, it won’t experience the level of growth that it so much desires. Some people feel your size is what you are. I mean, if you’re big, you are strong and should be able to withstand those dreadful comments, afterall, you put this upon yourself. Sometimes, we can’t control it. A lot of factors contribute to it; Genes and environment. It will interest you to know that there are people out there who find eating as the best way to deal with an emotional turmoil. I just feel everyone should be responsible when making comments about people’s bodies. We are all equal in the sight of God.

Growing up

Growing up in Nigeria can be a Herculean task for real. To crown it all, being a girl child…. Parents make you do things with the phrase “…as a girl…” Or “…when you get to your husband’s house…” These phrases in particular totally turn me off. I mean, I’m not going through all these stress only to end up in ..”husband’s house”