Escribiendo

It’s been a minute!

I won’t say i didn’t have the inspiration to write. I’d say i was just lazy to type them out and edit. I wrote out some articles i was going to publish in a journal i got in 2020, but somehow, i lost the journal.

It’s been about twenty months now. A lot has happened in my life since then. Some, I’m proud of, some, I’m grateful for, some, lessons were learnt, and most importantly, I’ve grown from all of them and I’m still growing and I can boldly say that I’m not the same person I was the last time i wrote here. I’m a better person.

The change might be really little and not so evident but have you heard that quote that read- “You’re way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying”? Well, now you have. Also, 1.00³⁶⁵= 1 but 1.01³⁶⁵= 37.78343433288715. Small progress is still progress 😊.

I’m not in my best mood right now actually. I got my heart broken. Again. Again and again. I MIGHT talk about it when I’ve healed enough to talk about it. Pity my pathetic phat arse 😭😔

I’ve always loved the idea of writing. I remember some time in grade 5 when I and my group of girlfriends wanted to become book authors and I’d write the stories, someone else would edit and someone else would publish it. We really had the complete chain that books went through before getting sold to the public. Just that, we weren’t professional. I mean, we were a bunch of nine year olds 😂.

I’ve always loved writing. I had diaries i wrote in every single day when i was in high school. I documented almost everything that happened each day. As much as the space could accommodate. I remember our economics teacher seizing my diary one day from one troublesome boy that wanted to read it. I never saw that book again.

Even though I’ve outgrown keeping diaries, I’ve channeled my writing into other methods. I write on my personal solo WhatsApp group, i have a daybook on my phone I journal in. It’s a makeshift diary but not exactly a diary.

Writing has always been my safe place. While writing, I’m my most honest self. No one will read it if i don’t want them to and so, I don’t have to hold back or make what I’m writing about seem less of a deal than it feels to me. Whatever situation that has me all caged up in anxiety, fear, confusion, love, hurt, pain or elation, I write it out.

When I’m excited or happy, i write down all about it. I even add the emojis . When I’m sad or angry, i write it out plainly – “Sad” or “Angry”. I even let some tears hit the page. Just like a signature.

The whole point of writing down when I’m in a terrible mood is that, by stopping to write these things down on paper, I’m admitting to myself how i actually feel and I’m giving myself time and space to calm down and process my emotions.

It helps to stop me from taking rash decisions when I’m caught up in my feels and a couple of times, it has saved me from dramatic reactions and avoidable unpleasant situations.